Some days I want to run from my house screaming and flailing. Let me rephrase that: Some days I want to run from my PARENTS house screaming and flailing. My husband, myself, our 9 year old, and our recent addition have been living there for the last two years now. Well, the recent addition the last 7 months... but you get the picture. Aside from us living there, my nephew does as well. Full house? Yes. And we don't exactly all get along as one big happy family. Not quite the Brady Bunch. Or the Partridge Family. More like Everybody Loves Raymond, but in ONE house, not two. And the parentals are mine, not my husbands. And my nephew is added in for extra drama/action.
At least that was the situation two years ago when we moved in. Well, technically, when we moved in my niece (the sister to my nephew) was living there as well. But she moved out within a very short time period and is now married with a baby of her own on the way. Now fast forward two years and my niece is moved out (like I just said) and my best friend and her two girls have moved in. Yikes... more people. And we still aren't exactly like one big happy family. Still more like Everybody Loves Raymond.
I love my family. I really, truly, honestly do. I just can't stand them. I can't live with them. I despise being at home. I relish going to school and work because it means I'm not in that house. I should not feel that way. I want to be with my husband - whom I love dearly - and my children - whom I cherish and love dearly - but don't want the rest of the crap that goes along with being at home.
Disagreeing with my parents means I'm "arguing" and "talking back". Really? I'm not allowed to differ in my opinion? And when my mother is rude to myself, or my husband I'm supposed to just "put up with it"? I don't get to be mad that we are being talked down to, or get mad when she tells my baby "It's ok, your daddy doesn't hate you" because he was forcing her to turn her head towards her food when he was trying to feed her. No, I'm not allowed to be mad at that, or say anything about it, because then I'm being "disrespectful".... Well, maybe I am. And maybe I've had enough of being disrespected. Enough of my husband being disrespected and treated like crap. Of my mother going behind our backs and trying to give things to my kids that we've said "no" to, and not only have we said "no" to the kids, we've told her "no" as well. Or having my mother go behind our backs and try to tell our 9 year old that we don't hate her. (because she was punished for doing something she shouldn't have, and knew that she shouldn't have) Or have my mother tell US that our 9 year old is going to hate us when she gets older...why? Because *gasp* we make her do chores (aka, "treat her like a slave" I'm sorry, but in what way is making her feed the animals, put the clean silverware away, put her own clothes away, and clean up after herself treating her like a slave?! I'm pretty sure it's not.)
Even worse? My nephew's behavior. The things he gets to get away with because they are "getting too old" to deal with it (my dad's words, NOT mine!). And it's not just his actions, but also what he says. And it's not just what he says to my parents, it's what he says to me, my husband, and my kids. It's also what my 9 year old witnesses and then maybe thinks in the back of her head (or the not so back of her head) that it's acceptable to act this way. That breaking a $700 t.v. that isn't yours is alright. And that the worst that happens is you have to pay it back by doing chores, that you can continue to have your cell phone (a privilage) and play computer games (a privilage) and go hang out with friends (a privilage) and go to theme parks (a privilage)...and instead of getting your allowance, the allowance goes to pay it back. Well, maybe that would work if he actually ever did his chores himself. But it's extremely rare that that happens.
Am I disgruntled? Maybe a little. But frankly, I think I have a right to be. The only reason we are still living there is because we need enough money to be able to move out. Hard to do when I have a part-time job that doesn't pay very much because I'm still in school, and my husband's job doesn't pay a whole lot. I'll be done with my AA in May, but that doesn't mean that I'll be able to get a good job. Instead that means that before I graduate I'll be able to apply to nursing schools. And continue going to school for another 22 months. Here's hoping it goes by quickly, and that our living situation can change very soon.... before I have to be hauled away to the pillow rooms and wear a nice white jacket all the time. :-P
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